A-Survivor-Is-Born

Have you ever looked into the mirror and just saw someone completely different? You give yourself a hard look and the person you see is SO different and SO hard to look at that it turns your stomach to even give a glance? That's what I'm doing and I can feel my insides twist and turn telling me to look away because that isn't you and I know it is. What can I do? I want who I was back. I don't want this and I look away into the bedroom thinking my escape is there. She's not...she told me this morning she was going to do something or go somewhere but I completely tuned her out. I didn't mean to but I did and she gave me this hurt look...it stun